Friend, huh??

Herm, I just finished surfing my friendsí blogs. Some of them knew Iím a regular visitor but some of them didnít. Well, I can say that not all are my friendsí, some of it just the blogs that I loved to take a look everyday. Maybe because of the thoughts and maybe because of the layouts. I usually felt relax while doing this ñ no matter how many works waiting for me after the routine- and then Iíll end up thinking about this one friend which will lead to another friend and to another friend and so on. Well, what can I say? It always made me think when most of my ësekolah agamaí friends end up too social in their way of life while my ësekolah teknikí friends leading a proper-asia-malay-muslim life. Itís quite funny eh? But thatís the twist of fate (according to yani) in life I think so. But canít help but felt confuse and sad and happy and angry and cool all at the same time.

Sometimes it difficult for me to react when I ran into these people. I used to reacted according to the personís character. Like when I met the old friend who is now a full time boyfriends seeker with all sort of love making stories and even had an abortion, I was like.. ìDonít tell me youíre still dating the previous guy!!î ñeventhough I just met her 2 weeks ago!!- Actually I donít like her parading herself and telling me all the sex stories of her since sheís my friend and yes sheís Malay and Muslim!! I want to tell her to stop and felt sorry for what she did and tell her all the things sheís enjoying are wrong. But?? I end up like supporting her??? Just because I donít want her to think me as a kind of ustazah or something. It also because I donít want her to go away from me and think Iím not there to help or support her in any case. I hate it when my friends think Iím useless or canít give a hand when needed.

It happens to everybody I guess. The courage to be ourselves that differentiate us from other. I hate to be hypocrite but at the same time canít help myself to be one for the sake of being accepted into the situation. Wish I could be more me. Iím a person who donít afraid to speak out what I think ñ even though it can be a lilí bit radical- but that didnít help me to be me when it comes to tell-your-friend-you-are-with-her/him!

p/s my sist is coming over this weekend!! HeheÖcanít wait!